Why The Grass Is Dying

You may have noticed that the grass around the shelters has been dying... Experts have converged and brainstormed some ideas.

  • Jeff rolls around in the grass once everyone leaves school
  • Elephants play on the field once everyone has left
  • The sun is exploding on the grass
  • Bunnies come and eat the grass at night
  • People have parties on the field and destroy it
  • It rains blood and destroys the grass
  • People with freakishly large feet try to play soccer and miss the ball completely
  • The church has an undercover square dance class and they’re trying to make it into hay (Nick admits to enjoying it)
  • People bring dogs here and the dog like the field
  • Overwhelming spit amounts are in the grass killing it
  • Goats are trampling the grass.